Your PPC Sucks

I don’t care what the phrase used in the search actually was but a search engine should never return these two advertisements next to each other. This is an epic failure of Yahoo’s Ad-serving engine, as well as those managing these campaigns.

I’ve NEVER liked managing PPC on Yahoo except when using 3rd party platforms, and they’ve never performed (conversion wise) as well as Google.  No wonder though! How impossibly irrelevant can it get?

Wait a minute, I sense YOU are here. That one type of person. The ones that think to themselves “But it’s probably good branding on PPC, targeting market of truck part shoppers and a naughty dating site to those same guys”. Go away.

Quality indexes and Ad serving engines rate the relevancy of the keyword searched, to the text ad that is delivered, to the landing page for a reason. ie: search is: ‘cup’. All ad’s should be about ‘cups’. The landing pages should be about ‘cups’. I don’t want to search for ‘cups’ to find a dating site.

Screw you Yahoo. You make everyone’s PPC suck because you don’t do a better job of preventing this, or because YOU were the one that chose to put them together. I mean, this was YOUR serp, and you are the second advertisement yourselves.

There are plenty of times I would recommend bidding on misspellings in your PPC campaign. People often misspell search terms.

But don’t be stupid and use it in your ad. It’s bad PPC, and really bad advertising.

How the heck did ALL the businesses bidding on the term ‘chilrens’ end up using dynamic keyword insertion? (if it’s not that… then it means they actually MEANT to put the typo in their ad? WTF?).

How relevant do they feel a search for ‘childrens’ or ‘chilrens’ is for allergy medication & alarm clocks?

www.RightHealth.Com  -  www.Boots.Pronto.Com  -  www.Cataloglink.com : Your PPC sucks!

Just because someone misspells the seach term, you aren’t relating or ‘connecting’ to them though by using that same misspelling again in your ad. Your ad represents your business. Pretend this is your billboard or magazine ad. You all look stupid.

Yes, normally we only point out bad or embarrassing PPC ads. We couldn’t resist re-posting these really good PPC ads. They went around the internet last year, but we wanted to share them again for all those that hadn’t seen them yet. A foreign car rental shop was challenged by their owner to create ads that stand out.

They chose to use ASCII artwork which Google later shutdown.

Your PPC Rocks!

It stands out, is very creative, it compels users to click on the ad, and it would only make Google more money (which I heard somewhere that they are into that). Google should bring it back.

The best part about ASCII: it’s hard to find any grammatical errors and retarded dynamic keyword insertion problems. Stupid people have less of a chance to screw up (but they’ll still probably bid on the word ‘free’ on broadmatch).

We got a suggestion trough our submission form today that basically outlined that their own campaign was running some bad ppc keywords and sucking money. They operate a baby/child music and song website and used the Adwords keyword suggestion tool.

They missed a crucial keyword.

We logged into an Adwords account to verify suggestions for Children’s Music: Adwords recommended ‘ baby makin’ music ‘!

Lesson learned: Your PPC will suck if you don’t scutinize the keywords that make it into your campaign.

Rule #1 when advertising to the blind: Don’t mention SEE or SEEN or SEEING ever.

There’s a line and they crossed it. Without shame. It’s a great way to give the middle finger to the handicapped TechMatrix.org and BrailleBookstore.com

I'm sure they'd love to see it. Rub it in.

And they never will BrailleBookstore.com.... and they never will.

MSN apparently didn’t have the secret sauce for some reason, but I didn’t think Yahoo would turn to running a PPC campaign to round up new buyers.

Do I GET 10,000 stores if I buy Yahoo? Is that the '& More' ?

You’d think these deep pocket companies would take the time to get their sh$% together. No campaign is too large for the Fortune 500 – they are just lazy (Target.Com and eBay -I expect to have LOTs of ad’s in a top 10 worst ppc ads competition).

Target – target – target ….. tisk tisk. RetailMeNot.Com selling kids can’t have the space to themselves? Mass retailers always gotta step on the little guys. Supply and demand I guess. People wanted to buy kids online and then everyone wants to sell them.

This makes comparison shopping easier for me

Well – online ordering is a really nice feature I’ve been wanting for a while now: Toss in free shipping and you’ve twisted my arm!

Even if you could bid on this, would you?

I think ‘omnipresent’ indicates free shipping  at least.

(okay I am going to hell)

That's just too ballsy eBay. There are some things money can't buy. MasterCard would agree.

I am not even going to get into EVERYTHING that’s wrong with this ad. You don’t even need to know the keyword searched to produce it (…. okay fine… ‘buy children’).

RetailMeNot.Com Sell's Children. At discount even. One heck of a bargain (and convenient too).

I really really really really want to do a search query report to see what search terms trigger ad’s for companies like this, Target.com, eBay, etc.  I hope RetailMeNot.Com isn’t VC funded – this would be baaaaad news to see how crappy their money is being used.

Their entire account was built by a robot. They could probably triple their sales if they paid some 16 year old stoner to fancy up their ad’s even just a little.

Dynamic Keyword Insertion & Copy/Paste at it's best.