Your PPC Sucks

Oh Yes,  it’s the classic ‘copy and paste everything from your search query performance report’ mistake.  This lovely short cut does you wonders in terms of wasted spend, damaged brand and general mockery from the PPC world.

Before you scurry off to check your keyword lists, take a second to review some embarrasing relevancy ads.  Hate to go on about dynamic text, but for the love of PPC, don’t add keywords like ‘other unique queries’!

Money Experts are serious about saving you some money and wasting their own. They’ve even included ‘2 other unique queries’ in the display URL. Boom – that’s dedication.

Plumber Joe,  “Sorry but it’s a burst pipe. I”ll need to buy 1 other unique queries, should take a couple of days.”  Phew – thanks plumbworld!

Next time you conduct a search query performance report, please just look at the keywords before you add them!

Whispers of revolution are in the air – the UK is gripped as we enter the countdown to the general election.  Who’s going to be PM? Could Babbling Brown retain the reigns?  Has David Cameron listened to enough ‘artic monkeys’ to win? Maybe Nick Clegg is on your mind?  Oh and fancy some Thai food from a Thai supermarket?!

Hat off to Marmite, they’re actually holding some form of election.

But Raan Thai – you guys aren’t even pretending to hold any form of vote! Maybe they’re forming a dictatorship,  hell bent on delivering to Ireland!

Watch your keyword match types!

This piece of PPC genius shows an advert for Millwall football club (UK soccer team) being displayed on searches for ”Leeds United” football club (Another UK Soccer team).  To make matters worse, Leeds United had recently lost to Millwall 2-0!

Hurray – YOUR PPC ROCKS!

The thought of this Millwall advert being displayed to unhappy Leeds supporters can certainly make you smile, if only at the innovation and creativeness of  some individuals within the world of PPC!

I am unsure what conversion rate Millwall could achieve, other than to irritate Leeds fans.  I am willing to bet the bounce rate was high!  It must have been worth it for bragging and mockery alone.

Keep up the good work people!