Posts Tagged ‘bad keyword’

From Easy to Sleazy

Here’s an embarrassing ad that Matt submitted to us (thanks).

This bad PPC advert exemplifies why a lack of negative keyword research, market research and laziness can land you a blog post on yourppcsucks.  Pat on the back people!

Here’s a step-by-step explanation of how you can emulate Easyjet’s terrible brand advert.

Step one: Create a brand campaign, throw in some brand variations that that ‘guys’ around the office use.

Step two:  Don’t bother using any negatives – they’re for product adverts.  No one dislikes us anyway, we’re orange.

Step three:  Search Query.. what?

Hey presto, you now have a badly targeted PPC advert! Hurray. Woop Woop.

So what can our lucky guests get from this advert? Well,  your beloved brand keywords could be linked to a range of insults that will provide hilarity at the expensive of your hard earned brand. Furthermore, you may further encourage more people to further hate/dislike/loath your brand. Oh, and you’ll waste your time and money.

Nevertheless, you can still over-charge on aeroplane peanuts and laugh at the silly small people who dislike your company.

easyJet Titles

Creative Commons License photo credit: WexDub

Alternatively, next time you create a brand campaign, you could have a look around the internet for positive and negative brand phrases used! Or, you could create a brand advert that targets unhappy searchers (rock the boat moment?!).


05 2010

I’ll have one other unique queries to go please.

Oh Yes,  it’s the classic ‘copy and paste everything from your search query performance report’ mistake.  This lovely short cut does you wonders in terms of wasted spend, damaged brand and general mockery from the PPC world.

Before you scurry off to check your keyword lists, take a second to review some embarrasing relevancy ads.  Hate to go on about dynamic text, but for the love of PPC, don’t add keywords like ‘other unique queries’!

Money Experts are serious about saving you some money and wasting their own. They’ve even included ‘2 other unique queries’ in the display URL. Boom – that’s dedication.

Plumber Joe,  “Sorry but it’s a burst pipe. I”ll need to buy 1 other unique queries, should take a couple of days.”  Phew – thanks plumbworld!

Next time you conduct a search query performance report, please just look at the keywords before you add them!


04 2010

Funny PPC! Buy Meth From and

*Ad was user submission: Thanks Ben!

We all know you can find just about ANYTHING on the internet. What you may not know, is despite Google’s strict rules prohibiting the sale of illegal drugs via Adwords, eBay.Com and have found a way to solicit Meth. Crystal.

The hard stuff. Ice. Crank. White Crunch. Crizzy. Devil Dust.

It doesn’t help that’s advertisement says “Feed your passion on!”

ebay-ppc-meth1utah-buy-methUtah Meth? Isn’t that the last state you’d think would be advertising Meth? ( Or maybe the conservative religious base is just a cover! )

Assignment America!

Search for “Buy Meth” in your homestate, let’s see who is advertising on it. Send me a screen shot.


03 2009

Yahoo Relevancy Fails Again – Mickey Mouse & Tupperware?

Just when I finished beating up Yahoo for having a horrible ad serving engine and failure to care about keyword-ad relevancy, they amazed me yet again. I searched for Mickey Mouse, and right in the middle of their ads was this little gem:

mickey-mouse-search-yahootupperware-and-mickey-mouseI’m no genius, but isn’t trying sell anything to do with Mickey Mouse in this bad ppc ad. Kids are out searching for mickey mouse all the time, might as well try and get them addicted sucked into the Tupperware parties scheme like a broke soccer mom who thinks their salvation is in a $60, 7 piece ‘heat ‘n serve’ set complete with a ‘no worry automatic valve’.

( … I want that … )

Just in case, I went back to Yahoo and re-performed my search to check out the landing page for that ad.

I mean…. if we are talking about a failure to be relevant to the users search, maybe they had a good landing page.

tupperwarecom-ppc-landing-pageNope. A log in page.

No selling of anything. No content of any kind. Nothing to do with Mickey Mouse.

Even IF the keyword and ad’s were 100% about Tupperware, and the searcher really was trying to find a website the sells or has info about it: chose probably the least relevant page on their site.


03 2009

Adwords Keyword Tool Suggested Baby Makin’ Music

We got a suggestion trough our submission form today that basically outlined that their own campaign was running some bad ppc keywords and sucking money. They operate a baby/child music and song website and used the Adwords keyword suggestion tool.

They missed a crucial keyword.

We logged into an Adwords account to verify suggestions for Children’s Music: Adwords recommended ‘ baby makin’ music ‘!

Google Keyword Suggestion: Baby Makin' Music

Lesson learned: Your PPC will suck if you don’t scutinize the keywords that make it into your campaign.


03 2009

Saks Fifth Avenue – Your PPC Sucks

Search on Google for Shirts

Saks Fifth Avenue PPC Advertisement

Saks Fifth Avenue PPC Advertisement

Saks….really? I was preparing a post on how much I hate companies who just take a dictionary and post every word on broad match into their PPC campaign and when I searched ‘shirts’ & Saks Fifth Avenue shows up near the top. They landed me on their homepage nonetheless!

The only thing you have going for you is some branding. It’s probably about as smart as Bentley bidding on ‘cars’ and Beluga Caviar on ‘food’.

I am sure their market analysis and segmentation indicated that their target consumer is cheap and uneducated who’s idea of online shopping is searching online with the term…. ‘shirts’. You know…. the kind of person who’d walk into Walmart and still not know what they want or where to find it – yet – THAT person is probably pretty close to buying some Couture or Dolce & Gabbana online.

It’d be as stupid as Tiffany & Co. bidding on the word ‘ring’ on broad match (I am checking right now).

Damn It……………Search on Google for 'Ring'Tiffany & Co. PPC Ad on 'RING'

How much of the audience searching using only the word ‘shirts’ is really ready to buy that expensive of a shirt? Your PPC Sucks Saks Fifth Avenue. You wasted my time and your money (and you couldnt even put me on the page that sells shirts).


03 2009