Posts Tagged ‘bad ppc’

Ladies, Debenhams says your feet stink

196/365 Need new shoes
Creative Commons License photo credit: stuartpilbrow

According to Debenhams PPC targeting, Women’s shoes posses a rather pungent smell and they have a sale?! Does anyone hear negatives? Thanks to Russel for submitting this PPC advert!

The ‘Stinky Feet Remedy’ is nicely targeted, even ‘Odour Shoes’ at Amazon I can deal with (for the moment) but Debenhams Blue Cross Sale?!  Talk about a waste of ad title!  Are searchers suppose to magically appreciate a link between the Debenhams blue cross sale and smelly shoes? Maybe you guys are targeting a niche market of smelly feet appreciators?! Whatever the case, it all “Ends Sun” Boo!

This advert is far too generic. The only keyword matching from the search query to the ad copy is within the display URL that  falls under ‘womens shoes’.  Is this a blatant indication that women have smelly feet or have Debenhams failed on a number of PPC issues such as negatives, advert copy, targeting and common sense?!

You know we don’t like PPC adverts with no relevance to the searched keyword. Well done guys. Just sticking shoes and women in at the end of the URL isn’t going to make it any more relevant. Lets run a Search Query Performance Report (SQPR) and make our adgroups a little more targeted please. If you don’t, you’ll end up with adverts that bear little relevancy to the searchers query.  Wave goodbye to your spend.

Right enough ranting,  we’re off to the Blue Cross Sale to smell some stinky women’s shoes! Catch you all next time!

21

07 2010

Insert Article Headline….

Interesting first sentence introducing main point, followed by introduction to rest of blog.

Main blog content containing the bulk of the topic information, including some sort of discussion. Summary of discussion and recommendation.

Snappy ending sentence.

Wow, wasn’t that bloody insightful?!

Didn’t think so. Templates aren’t for actual reader consumption, so why would you create the following advert?

Well, there’s only two possibilities;

A) You’ve hired some very cheap but dreadfully inexperienced sheep to create your PPC adverts (Baaa)

or

B) You’ve stormed the stupidity castle and launched your adverts without realising your advert is about as targeted as blind mans aim (we would like to state that this is on personal experience; we have yet to meet a blind individual who has beaten a fully-sighted individual on a range of stringent and gruelling aim tests without aid.  We will  recall this statement as soon as we encounter such an individual).

Templates are a great starting point for creating PPC copy, but you do actually have to change them.

What’s the solution?

Well, we would strongly recommend against hiring farm-yard animals for your paid advertising. It’s not cost effective and it’s slightly cruel!  We would also urge you to manually review your adverts, as it pays to be careful.

By giving your adverts a ‘sense check’ you can drive down your overall CPC, improve your CTR and not end up on the wrong side of Yourppcsucks’ wrath. Ouch.

A big thank you to Alex Cohen at Click Equations for providing us with this fantastically bad PPC catch!  Sorry about delay Alex.

02

07 2010

From Easy to Sleazy

Here’s an embarrassing ad that Matt submitted to us (thanks).

This bad PPC advert exemplifies why a lack of negative keyword research, market research and laziness can land you a blog post on yourppcsucks.  Pat on the back people!

Here’s a step-by-step explanation of how you can emulate Easyjet’s terrible brand advert.

Step one: Create a brand campaign, throw in some brand variations that that ‘guys’ around the office use.

Step two:  Don’t bother using any negatives – they’re for product adverts.  No one dislikes us anyway, we’re orange.

Step three:  Search Query.. what?

Hey presto, you now have a badly targeted PPC advert! Hurray. Woop Woop.

So what can our lucky guests get from this advert? Well,  your beloved brand keywords could be linked to a range of insults that will provide hilarity at the expensive of your hard earned brand. Furthermore, you may further encourage more people to further hate/dislike/loath your brand. Oh, and you’ll waste your time and money.

Nevertheless, you can still over-charge on aeroplane peanuts and laugh at the silly small people who dislike your company.

easyJet Titles

Creative Commons License photo credit: WexDub

Alternatively, next time you create a brand campaign, you could have a look around the internet for positive and negative brand phrases used! Or, you could create a brand advert that targets unhappy searchers (rock the boat moment?!).

18

05 2010

I’ll have one other unique queries to go please.

Oh Yes,  it’s the classic ‘copy and paste everything from your search query performance report’ mistake.  This lovely short cut does you wonders in terms of wasted spend, damaged brand and general mockery from the PPC world.

Before you scurry off to check your keyword lists, take a second to review some embarrasing relevancy ads.  Hate to go on about dynamic text, but for the love of PPC, don’t add keywords like ‘other unique queries’!

Money Experts are serious about saving you some money and wasting their own. They’ve even included ‘2 other unique queries’ in the display URL. Boom – that’s dedication.

Plumber Joe,  “Sorry but it’s a burst pipe. I”ll need to buy 1 other unique queries, should take a couple of days.”  Phew – thanks plumbworld!

Next time you conduct a search query performance report, please just look at the keywords before you add them!

29

04 2010

Kill A Cop Careers Advertised on Google

It’s plain and simple. Google obviously must be perceived to have a ‘trusty’ index of information for people to turn to it for all of their needs. Regardless off how legal or screwed up they are, Google returns information all the time. But I can’t quite admit they should advertise on every ad and search, all the time.

google-search-kill-a-copSo for the search “Kill A Cop” as of 3/30/2009 and where I am in the US ( the ambiguous everywhere….. apparently though, where I am not is fixing Pay Per Click Bloopers) – these are the ads that showed up for such a query:

kill-a-cop-advertismentHAHAHA. “Kill A Cop. – Move your career forward with an accredited online degree!” ?

Assassination school was never so public.  🙂 But hey, at least you can advance/move your career even during an economic recession!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE run a ‘keyword query report’ in Adwords reporting services once in a while and see what searches are triggering your advertisements. Dynamic keyword insertion is lazy anyway. The Ad should have problem read “Become A Cop”, right?

NOPE. I can’t get these ads to show up for the searches for “cop” and “a cop”. The only time I can get them to come up is just for the search term exactly “Kill A Cop” !! Holy Crap! Why?

chips-cop-tv-show

Special thanks to the twitter user @joshtauber for the keyword search submission!

30

03 2009

When Spellcheck Would Have Helped: ExposedWrinkleCreams.info

There are two awesome parts to this screwed up advertisement:

Exposed Wrinkle Creams PPC misspelling

#1) They misspelled ‘wrinkle‘ with ‘wrinkl‘ – Granted, mistakes happen, sometimes people even run out of room. Though, there are still two more spaces available still in the title line.

#2) Domain name choice? Seriously? ExposedWrinkleCreams.info was the domain name of choice? Holy Crap: the .com is still available still!  I should get www.yourPPCsucks.info pretty soon – they are hot hot hot!

Thanks to Nathan J, for the submission!

28

03 2009

YouTube.Com ads: This Is Just A Gross PPC Advertising

Completely uncalled for YouTube! Shame on you too, shopping.yahoo.com for even creating such an advertisement and thinking ANYONE would ever want to see it.

shopping.yahoo.com GROSS ppc advertisment

I don’t ever click on ad’s from a YouTube.Com video anyway. Unless of course I was trying to close the ad and accidentally missed the small little X. Then it just wastes the money of the advertiser and Google makes more bling.  Yahoo.com has just plain embarrassing ppc.

Another prime example of a company with so much money – they can spend half of it on a competitors contextual adveritsing platform and make that same competitor even more money. You are sinking yourself Yahoo.

17

03 2009

Someone Selling Obama on Pay Per Click Advertising?

Are you a lobbyist, activists, and/or someone in the pursuit of buying our new president for personal or financial gain? Our PPC humor blog here on www.yourPPCsucks.com has uncovered a loophole in our democracy You can buy President Obama on NexTag.Com.

We (the aforementioned PPC humor blog) wanted to buy off Obama in the hopes we could get a bill passed that would prevent the abuse of bad and embarrassing advertising on our search engines. (We’re looking at your eBay.com, Amazon.com, Local.com, Shopzilla.com, & Target.com!) Go ahead and toss up NexTag.Com to that list.

buy obama on ppc from nextag

17

03 2009

Yahoo Relevancy Fails Again – Mickey Mouse & Tupperware?

Just when I finished beating up Yahoo for having a horrible ad serving engine and failure to care about keyword-ad relevancy, they amazed me yet again. I searched for Mickey Mouse, and right in the middle of their ads was this little gem:

mickey-mouse-search-yahootupperware-and-mickey-mouseI’m no genius, but www.my.tupperware.com isn’t trying sell anything to do with Mickey Mouse in this bad ppc ad. Kids are out searching for mickey mouse all the time, might as well try and get them addicted sucked into the Tupperware parties scheme like a broke soccer mom who thinks their salvation is in a $60, 7 piece ‘heat ‘n serve’ set complete with a ‘no worry automatic valve’.

( … I want that … )

Just in case, I went back to Yahoo and re-performed my search to check out the landing page for that ad.

I mean…. if we are talking about a failure to be relevant to the users search, maybe they had a good landing page.

tupperwarecom-ppc-landing-pageNope. A log in page.

No selling of anything. No content of any kind. Nothing to do with Mickey Mouse.

Even IF the keyword and ad’s were 100% about Tupperware, and the searcher really was trying to find a website the sells or has info about it: My.Tupperware.com chose probably the least relevant page on their site.

10

03 2009

Yahoo! PPC Serving Engine Loves Non-Relevant Ads

I don’t care what the phrase used in the search actually was but a search engine should never return these two advertisements next to each other. This is an epic failure of Yahoo’s Ad-serving engine, as well as those managing these campaigns.

Really Bad Relevancy. Two wrong ppc ad'sI’ve NEVER liked managing PPC on Yahoo except when using 3rd party platforms, and they’ve never performed (conversion wise) as well as Google.  No wonder though! How impossibly irrelevant can it get?

Wait a minute, I sense YOU are here. That one type of person. The ones that think to themselves “But it’s probably good branding on PPC, targeting market of truck part shoppers and a naughty dating site to those same guys”. Go away.

Quality indexes and Ad serving engines rate the relevancy of the keyword searched, to the text ad that is delivered, to the landing page for a reason. ie: search is: ‘cup’. All ad’s should be about ‘cups’. The landing pages should be about ‘cups’. I don’t want to search for ‘cups’ to find a dating site.

Screw you Yahoo. You make everyone’s PPC suck because you don’t do a better job of preventing this, or because YOU were the one that chose to put them together. I mean, this was YOUR serp, and you are the second advertisement yourselves. 🙂

09

03 2009