Posts Tagged ‘pay per click’

I’ll have one other unique queries to go please.

Oh Yes,  it’s the classic ‘copy and paste everything from your search query performance report’ mistake.  This lovely short cut does you wonders in terms of wasted spend, damaged brand and general mockery from the PPC world.

Before you scurry off to check your keyword lists, take a second to review some embarrasing relevancy ads.  Hate to go on about dynamic text, but for the love of PPC, don’t add keywords like ‘other unique queries’!

Money Experts are serious about saving you some money and wasting their own. They’ve even included ‘2 other unique queries’ in the display URL. Boom – that’s dedication.

Plumber Joe,  “Sorry but it’s a burst pipe. I”ll need to buy 1 other unique queries, should take a couple of days.”  Phew – thanks plumbworld!

Next time you conduct a search query performance report, please just look at the keywords before you add them!


04 2010

Thai food for goverment!

Whispers of revolution are in the air – the UK is gripped as we enter the countdown to the general election.  Who’s going to be PM? Could Babbling Brown retain the reigns?  Has David Cameron listened to enough ‘artic monkeys’ to win? Maybe Nick Clegg is on your mind?  Oh and fancy some Thai food from a Thai supermarket?!

Hat off to Marmite, they’re actually holding some form of election.

But Raan Thai – you guys aren’t even pretending to hold any form of vote! Maybe they’re forming a dictatorship,  hell bent on delivering to Ireland!

Watch your keyword match types!


04 2010

A timely advert is worth a 100 adverts!

This piece of PPC genius shows an advert for Millwall football club (UK soccer team) being displayed on searches for ”Leeds United” football club (Another UK Soccer team).  To make matters worse, Leeds United had recently lost to Millwall 2-0!


The thought of this Millwall advert being displayed to unhappy Leeds supporters can certainly make you smile, if only at the innovation and creativeness of  some individuals within the world of PPC!

I am unsure what conversion rate Millwall could achieve, other than to irritate Leeds fans.  I am willing to bet the bounce rate was high!  It must have been worth it for bragging and mockery alone.

Keep up the good work people!


04 2010

BlackHateBook? – PPC Display URL’s Are Actually Important ….. There’s a slight difference between ‘hate’ and ‘hat’. This was from a PPC advertisement inside g-mail from one of our readers who’s e-mail content mentions SEO enough to warrant advertisements about it.


I’ve had it happen a million times. Have a little to drink, find a great domain, be in awe that it’s available and, boom. Buy it.

Only later realizing of course your domain name itself doesn’t promote a book about black hat practices, it appears to promote black hate and you have to live with it. “Meh, whatever.. it’s just a domain, no one cares about those.” (even though is available)

Sure enough, is the REAL domain for these guys. But it is better in their ‘dirty SEO tactics’ hands than as a KKK operated website.

They do rank well for a lot of related terms right now, but we definitely don’t support ‘blackhat seo practices or blackhate’ display url’s. Tip: Pick a non-offensive domain name, one that is easily remembered, and spell it correctly for the word you are trying to use.

Thanks for the user submission for this one!

We had about 4 submissions over the weekend but the contact form, file attachement feature wasn’t working properly. If you sent something in, please resend it.


03 2009

Yahoo! PPC Serving Engine Loves Non-Relevant Ads

I don’t care what the phrase used in the search actually was but a search engine should never return these two advertisements next to each other. This is an epic failure of Yahoo’s Ad-serving engine, as well as those managing these campaigns.

Really Bad Relevancy. Two wrong ppc ad'sI’ve NEVER liked managing PPC on Yahoo except when using 3rd party platforms, and they’ve never performed (conversion wise) as well as Google.  No wonder though! How impossibly irrelevant can it get?

Wait a minute, I sense YOU are here. That one type of person. The ones that think to themselves “But it’s probably good branding on PPC, targeting market of truck part shoppers and a naughty dating site to those same guys”. Go away.

Quality indexes and Ad serving engines rate the relevancy of the keyword searched, to the text ad that is delivered, to the landing page for a reason. ie: search is: ‘cup’. All ad’s should be about ‘cups’. The landing pages should be about ‘cups’. I don’t want to search for ‘cups’ to find a dating site.

Screw you Yahoo. You make everyone’s PPC suck because you don’t do a better job of preventing this, or because YOU were the one that chose to put them together. I mean, this was YOUR serp, and you are the second advertisement yourselves. 🙂


03 2009

ASCII Artwork in PPC Ads: Bring It Back Google!

Yes, normally we only point out bad or embarrassing PPC ads. We couldn’t resist re-posting these really good PPC ads. They went around the internet last year, but we wanted to share them again for all those that hadn’t seen them yet. A foreign car rental shop was challenged by their owner to create ads that stand out.

They chose to use ASCII artwork which Google later shutdown. 🙁


Your PPC Rocks!

It stands out, is very creative, it compels users to click on the ad, and it would only make Google more money (which I heard somewhere that they are into that). Google should bring it back.

The best part about ASCII: it’s hard to find any grammatical errors and retarded dynamic keyword insertion problems. Stupid people have less of a chance to screw up (but they’ll still probably bid on the word ‘free’ on broadmatch).


03 2009

RetailMeNot.Com’s PPC Ad Selling Children ?

I am not even going to get into EVERYTHING that’s wrong with this ad. You don’t even need to know the keyword searched to produce it (…. okay fine… ‘buy children’).

RetailMeNot.Com Sell's Children. Discount even. Heck of a bargain.

RetailMeNot.Com Sell's Children. At discount even. One heck of a bargain (and convenient too).

I really really really really want to do a search query report to see what search terms trigger ad’s for companies like this,, eBay, etc.  I hope RetailMeNot.Com isn’t VC funded – this would be baaaaad news to see how crappy their money is being used. 🙂


03 2009

Saks Fifth Avenue – Your PPC Sucks

Search on Google for Shirts

Saks Fifth Avenue PPC Advertisement

Saks Fifth Avenue PPC Advertisement

Saks….really? I was preparing a post on how much I hate companies who just take a dictionary and post every word on broad match into their PPC campaign and when I searched ‘shirts’ & Saks Fifth Avenue shows up near the top. They landed me on their homepage nonetheless!

The only thing you have going for you is some branding. It’s probably about as smart as Bentley bidding on ‘cars’ and Beluga Caviar on ‘food’.

I am sure their market analysis and segmentation indicated that their target consumer is cheap and uneducated who’s idea of online shopping is searching online with the term…. ‘shirts’. You know…. the kind of person who’d walk into Walmart and still not know what they want or where to find it – yet – THAT person is probably pretty close to buying some Couture or Dolce & Gabbana online.

It’d be as stupid as Tiffany & Co. bidding on the word ‘ring’ on broad match (I am checking right now).

Damn It……………Search on Google for 'Ring'Tiffany & Co. PPC Ad on 'RING'

How much of the audience searching using only the word ‘shirts’ is really ready to buy that expensive of a shirt? Your PPC Sucks Saks Fifth Avenue. You wasted my time and your money (and you couldnt even put me on the page that sells shirts).


03 2009