Posts Tagged ‘ppc’

Thai food for goverment!

Whispers of revolution are in the air – the UK is gripped as we enter the countdown to the general election.  Who’s going to be PM? Could Babbling Brown retain the reigns?  Has David Cameron listened to enough ‘artic monkeys’ to win? Maybe Nick Clegg is on your mind?  Oh and fancy some Thai food from a Thai supermarket?!

Hat off to Marmite, they’re actually holding some form of election.

But Raan Thai – you guys aren’t even pretending to hold any form of vote! Maybe they’re forming a dictatorship,  hell bent on delivering to Ireland!

Watch your keyword match types!


04 2010

A timely advert is worth a 100 adverts!

This piece of PPC genius shows an advert for Millwall football club (UK soccer team) being displayed on searches for ”Leeds United” football club (Another UK Soccer team).  To make matters worse, Leeds United had recently lost to Millwall 2-0!


The thought of this Millwall advert being displayed to unhappy Leeds supporters can certainly make you smile, if only at the innovation and creativeness of  some individuals within the world of PPC!

I am unsure what conversion rate Millwall could achieve, other than to irritate Leeds fans.  I am willing to bet the bounce rate was high!  It must have been worth it for bragging and mockery alone.

Keep up the good work people!


04 2010

Funny PPC! Buy Meth From and

*Ad was user submission: Thanks Ben!

We all know you can find just about ANYTHING on the internet. What you may not know, is despite Google’s strict rules prohibiting the sale of illegal drugs via Adwords, eBay.Com and have found a way to solicit Meth. Crystal.

The hard stuff. Ice. Crank. White Crunch. Crizzy. Devil Dust.

It doesn’t help that’s advertisement says “Feed your passion on!”

ebay-ppc-meth1utah-buy-methUtah Meth? Isn’t that the last state you’d think would be advertising Meth? ( Or maybe the conservative religious base is just a cover! )

Assignment America!

Search for “Buy Meth” in your homestate, let’s see who is advertising on it. Send me a screen shot.


03 2009

Shopzilla Has Bargain Prices on Leg Amputees

Let’s start this post with answering a common question that will come to mind. No, I don’t know why anyone was searching for ‘leg amputees‘ on Google. But, a user gave me a link to the results page and I had to write a post about it. 🙂

Shopzilla PPC Ad: Buy Leg amputees“So, honey – when does our new leg amputee come in? You know we have to keep up with the Jones’s!”

What I really want to know is, what word was bidding on? Leg or Amputees?

Neither. They are actually bidding on the term “Leg Amputees” exactly. Naturally, I HAD to see the landing page so I clicked through. (is that click fraud? . . . sorry)

They did a great job building up my excitement! “You’re about to discover great deals on…. Leg Amputees”. Yes! I can’t wait!

leg amputees waiting shopzilla .  .  .  . sad panda. It was disappointing. Nothing. They don’t actually sell any leg amputees.

Screw you Shopzilla!

I am sure you share in my disappointment, and I am sorry you can’t actually buy a leg amputee, but I have good new for those with a very specific kind of fetish: (still using the same search term ‘leg amputees’).

date leg amputees

I love the internet, it does so much for all of us.


03 2009

Braille PPC Ads – Everyone knows not to use ‘SEE’ right?

Rule #1 when advertising to the blind: Don’t mention SEE or SEEN or SEEING ever.

There’s a line and they crossed it. Without shame. It’s a great way to give the middle finger to the handicapped and

I'm sure they'd love to see it. Rub it in.

I'm sure they'd love to see it. Rub it in.

And they never will and they never will.

And they never will and they never will.


03 2009

Yahoo! For Sale On Google Search Result PPC Ad

MSN apparently didn’t have the secret sauce for some reason, but I didn’t think Yahoo would turn to running a PPC campaign to round up new buyers.

Do I GET 10,000 stores if I buy Yahoo, Or 10,000 stores are selling Yahoo ?

Do I GET 10,000 stores if I buy Yahoo? Is that the '& More' ?

You’d think these deep pocket companies would take the time to get their sh$% together. No campaign is too large for the Fortune 500 – they are just lazy (Target.Com and eBay -I expect to have LOTs of ad’s in a top 10 worst ppc ads competition).


03 2009

Target.Com | Your PPC Advertising Is Awe Inspiring

Their entire account was built by a robot. They could probably triple their sales if they paid some 16 year old stoner to fancy up their ad’s even just a little.

Dynamic Keyword Insertion & Copy/Paste at it's best.

Dynamic Keyword Insertion & Copy/Paste at it's best.


03 2009 You Don’t Offer Free WordPress Themes

While looking for a theme to set up this very blog, I searched “Free wordpress themes” on Google. came up at the top with an ad that was somewhat enticing. I wanted a professionally designed theme that I could modify easily, and their add looked like it was going to give me what I wanted.

I should have known though. What were the odds that when I searched for ‘free wordpress themes’ that I could actually find a PPC ad for someone offering free products? Rule #1 for eCommerce sites: Don’t let yourself waste so much stinking money on users who don’t want to buy anything!

Free WordPress Theme search

No mention of 'Free' in the ad, but it didn't prequalify with 'paid' either.

No mention of 'Free' in the ad, but it didn't pre-qualify with being 'paid' only either.

I searched for "Free WordPress Themes"

I searched for "Free WordPress Themes"

Remembering that I searched for “Free WordPress Themes”, it’s crucial to pre-qualify your users by either mentioning you only offer paid products (and don’t trust that a Google Checkout button will do the trick) or by adding -Free as a negative keyword in your campaign.

Seriously? Save yourself some money iThemes. PPC can be a money-pit for your business if you make this mistake. Businesses too often will look at their PPC campaigns, see money being spent and not enough conversions to make it worth it so they’ll cut it with out knowing their clicks are coming from people wanting FREE STUFF!


03 2009